5 Lessons Learned by a First-Year Seminarian

A milestone has passed in my life recently: I moved to Alabama to begin my Masters in Divinity (M.Div.) studies at Beeson Divinity School at Samford University last year! I have never been this far from my family and friends, and I was naturally nervous about what life would throw at me. I am constantly amazed with the Lord’s gracious providence and the new mercies he pours in my life everyday like a refreshing rain in summer. God has taught me many profound lessons about my life and how I can relate with the transcendent yet intimately personal Trinitarian God.

Now that my first full year of seminary is complete, many of you are wondering what I have learned and grown over the past year. I decided to compose a two-part blog post on ten lessons out of many (which both time and space prohibits me from discussing) that the Lord has taught me. My intention is two-fold here: I desire that you – my readers and fellow praying warriors – can get a glimpse on the transformation that the Lord has wrought in my heart; and that what I will write below only serve to strengthen the weak, humble the proud, direct the wandering soul, encourage the disheartened, and ultimately give all the glory due to the Risen King and the Sovereign Lord.

1) Die unto the world.

"Surely, students of theology ought to lay this foundation, that during their early years of study they realize that they must die unto the world and live as individuals who are to become examples to the flock, and that this is not merely an ornament but a very necessary work, without which they may indeed be students of what may be called a philosophy of sacred things but not students of theology who are instructed and will be preserved only in the light of the Holy Spirit” (Philip Jacob Spener, Pia Desideria, emphasis mine).

The above quote was posted by a fellow Beeson student on Facebook over the past week, and my heart exclaimed after reading that, “How true is it, and what an apt summary of the journey that I have taken thus far!” The “I” inherent in every man must die so that God can use someone as a minister of His Word. Although I still maintain a sense of my personhood, I am no longer identified and defined by who I am but rather by my identity in and union with Christ. It is my daily prayer that Christ will continue to increase as I decrease (John 3:30). I long to live in a manner similar to what Apostle Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 4:7-12, “But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you," and Philippians 3:8, “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish (lit. Gk. dung), in order that I may gain Christ.”

I quickly realized that I had to enthrone Christ as my personal Savior and the supreme Lord and King of all on a daily basis and through everything I do and say. It meant that I must take the time to meticulously search my heart to identify, call out, and dethrone the idols which my fleshly self bitterly cling to. And here’s why I do this: the Lord is a jealous God who passionately and fiercely loves us and does not want to compete with the idols of our heart (cf. Exodus 20:5-6). I had to decide to embark on either one of the two paths each day: the Way of the King or the Way of the Self. This part of my journey is by no means easy, but it is my desire that, as Apostle Paul puts it, “Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death” (Philippians 1:20). I pray daily (and God continues to demonstrate his faithfulness to me in hearing and answering my prayers) that he will give me the strength and perseverance to mortify my flesh, to identify myself as a servant of the King, and to be his megaphone in the spiritually deaf and dying world.

2) Trust in God’s providence.

Just as God loved Israel so much that he never forget about his remnant and takes care of them while they were in exile, God has proved time and again his boundless love for me and his commitment to meeting all of my needs. There are times when I wonder silently (and sometimes out loud) why certain things are happening or even become worried about my future and finances. God, acting through the people whom I encounter in Birmingham or through timely messages sent to me via text message or computer by my friends, constantly refreshes my heart and reminds me that he deeply cares about my well-being. Knowing that I will be away from my family and friends, God has provided me with certain people in Alabama whom I can depend on whenever I needed anything. Knowing that I will be away from my church family in Maryland, God has provided me with a Body at Beeson committed to taking care of and praying for one another. Knowing that I like to be around people sometimes, God has provided me with some new friends whom I meet through the day at Samford and also a new place where I am around someone often (such as a devout and pious retired Southern Baptist missionary). I often worried about whether God will meet my needs in a timely manner when I started seminary, but his providential care and concern for me has only strengthened my faith and reliance upon God.

3) Be holistic with your life.

The sheer volume of seminary workload overwhelmed me for the first few months, and it did not abate as time progressed. In other words, it was like a boot camp that lasted for eight months. I hunkered down in the library for the most of my waking hours trying to memorize Greek paradigms, master early church doctrines (i.e. Trinity, the dual natures of Christ, to name a few), all while juggling other things in my life. I sensed that something was not right in my life but could not quite put my thumb on what it was until my first semester concluded.

Spend some time for yourself, and do not neglect to take care of other aspects of your life.

Through the prompting of the Spirit of God, who speaks powerfully yet tenderly in my heart when I least expect him to, I learned that I failed to give adequate attention to social, emotional, and physical aspects of my life. While by the grace of God alone that I made it thus far while remaining healthy, I knew that sooner than later, I will begin to experience detrimental effects from the onerous burden of seminary work that will lead to me being burnt out before graduation. Socially, I failed to connect with my seminary colleagues and instead retreated to the solitude and safety of my inner self whenever life got busy. Emotionally, I neglected to allow myself to be honest with myself and others about my feelings, frustrations, and discouragements that are oft experienced by all people. Physically, I did not take advantage of Samford University’s athletic facilities or Alabama’s weather to do outdoor activities that I enjoy such as running, biking, and hiking.

As the Spring 2012 semester rolled by, I began to intentionally seek a holistic lifestyle that nurtures the four dimensions of my life: mental, emotional, social, and physical. While I had no problem with exercising my mind through my studies, I needed to pause and reflect several times throughout the week (and sometimes through the day) to ponder on the implications of what I have just read and how it should define my actions and thoughts. I need to also be willing to become vulnerable in my weekly community group and be brutally honest with others about what is going on in my life. This process was made easier for me because I saw how others did it and the resulting blessings that they have received through words of prayer and support from others. The recreational facilities and swimming pool became a familiar companion in my life and I saw immediate benefits of exercising with my studies, my emotions, my interactions with other people, and my physical well-being.

The more I strengthen the four aspects of my personhood, another thing dawned upon me: I began to enjoy my life in Alabama and my time spent at Beeson even more. As I became more intentional toward connecting with other people, especially my colleagues and those in the larger Birmingham community, I was able to make new friends and strengthen my relationship with mutual friends. While the fall semester was pretty rough for me, I enjoyed my Spring semester even more as a result. All of this took place because of the simple yet profound words that the Holy Spirit has spoke in my heart. This lesson, I believe, is essential not only for seminarians and ministers but also for all Christians to learn and apply, and it is by no means easy one.

4) Keep your eyes open, mind alert, and heart open.

God is always on the move, but the question of whether we notice his activity or not depends on our readiness to recognize it. When we become busy in our lives, we tend to close out the surrounding world and become focused on what is happening in our lives. We often unknowingly construct a prison of busyness and stress that darkens and obscures our view of the outside world. We do not take the time to look around and notice the daily events of a life, such as the surrounding beauty of the magnificent nature, the laughter of a small child playing around with her parents, the tender and loving look of a mother as she caresses her new-born infant, and the precious moments an elderly couple spend together sitting on a park bench in silence.

Thankfully, God gave me the opportunity over the past summer to spend about three months relaxing and exploring the city of Birmingham and the state of Alabama. I found myself walking around in different city parks, enjoying the beauty of the flowers while being bathed by the pleasantly warm sunshine. When I pause to look at what is happening around me and being alert to kairos moments, or opportunities, that may present itself in my life, I often find myself sensing God and my heart, being receptive to his Spirit, is being refreshed in his presence. I encountered several people over the past summer whom I believe were sent by God, and they continue to encourage me up to this day. God often brings people or allow events to transpire in our lives in order to teach us valuable lessons about ourselves, our lives, and God himself.

5) Boldly ask questions whenever you can, but be content to live within the tension of the unknown.

In my fervent search for knowledge and education, I can annoy people sometimes with my relentless barrage of probing questions and meticulous analysis of anything related to Christianity and theology. I relished the opportunity to be challenged by various assignments such as writing a paper on various Christian doctrines such as trinity, atonement, sin, and justification by faith. Sometimes certain things such as predestination and free will in the economy of salvation or whether one should practice child or believer baptism vexes me, and I will think hard and carefully about those issues because they are important matters. I will get frustrated sometimes with my inability to come to a conclusive answer on some things.

However, my frustration has been relieved over the past few weeks while reading J.I. Packer’s excellent book, Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God. He discusses in depth about how a Christian should remain faithful toward the Great Commission while holding fast to the doctrine of God’s sovereignty over all things. While many Christians will often maintain one position over another (which contributes to the debate between Arminianism and Calvinism, respectively), Packer argues that a Christian must recognize that there are some matters by which God leaves unanswered because he does not think that it is important for us to know while living on the earth. We should become comfortable to live within the tension of some unanswered questions or obscure theological issues that the Bible remains silent about. While remaining faithful to the orthodox Christian doctrines, Christians should never allow minor issues (such as predestination and free will) to drive a wedge between brothers and sisters in Christ who are members of God’s family, which will ultimately jeopardize if not destroy the visible unity of the universal Church. Commit yourselves to holding fast to orthodox doctrines of Christianity and be resolved to not allow minor doctrinal differences to distract you from what matters the most to God: the person and ministry of Jesus Christ at the Calvary, which was done to redeem mankind (some would use "the elect") from the power of sin and death so that people may be reconciled with God.